yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
