So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
