All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
