guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
