he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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