I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
