You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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