worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
