farters have to be the big spoon...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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