if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
