But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I want her autograph on my taint
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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