Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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