i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
