i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.