Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.