We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?