I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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