he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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