if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it was like eating out sand paper
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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