Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
