Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I need to sanitize my soul.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
