every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dick very happy bro
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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