dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
