Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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