It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
