I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
