if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize