I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We need a shit load of segways right now
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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