david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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