so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
