no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
