There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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