So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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