remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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