I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This is the high leading the old right now
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
