I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize