Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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