I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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