I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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