I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
