I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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