it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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