return my video game
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He kissed a someone with a penis
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
