I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize