If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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