Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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