if you like me you must not know who I am
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she looked like the before picture.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
