My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Be still, my beating vagina.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
