Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
