God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
