Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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