i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
