So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
