So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How external is "for external use only"?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
