Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
