Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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