one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
