Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
