Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
