NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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