i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
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Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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