thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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