whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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