Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize