Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Jerry, you need to find god
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
how does that bad decision feel?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
