So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I checked into jail on foursquare
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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