In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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