sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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