So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
