you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
