So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize