Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
