covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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