He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
